Christmas Cracker Jokes – Funny & Cheesy Jokes

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The Best Jokes for Your Christmas Crackers

You can’t beat Christmas cracker jokes at Christmas. Christmas is just not Christmas without a bad, cheesy one-liner joke. You’ll find them in your Christmas cracker or hear them from Uncle Dave trying to be funny.

And you know 9 times out of 10 they will receive an over-exaggerated roll. But that’s all part of the fun. 

Arguably, these are the funniest Christmas jokes and you are likely to find them in your cracker on Christmas Day. So, before you reach for the Turkey and mince pies, get into the festive spirit and celebrate with these Christmas cracker jokes. 

Whether you’re looking for cheesy jokes or the funniest, silly jokes, we have them all. These all come with a bad joke warning and don’t say we didn’t warn you!

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Best Christmas Cracker Jokes

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy

What do you call a blind reindeer?
No-eye deer

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

What do snowmen eat for dinner?
Iceburgers

Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting?
Because they always drop their needles

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days

What do you call an old snowman?
Water

What do you call Father Christmas on the beach?
Sandy Claus!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia

What kind of music do elves love the most?
Wrap

What does Santa use to bake cakes?
Elf-raising flour

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells

Why did Santa have to go to the hospital?
Because of his poor elf

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What did Adam say to his wife the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

How do snowmen get around?
Riding an icicle

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Have any funny jokes you want us to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below, or get in touch!

Related Christmas Facts and Tradition Articles:

Christmas Cracker Jokes – Funny & Cheesy Jokes

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